Note: this posting is taken from our witness during Joan’s 6th Birthday service.
In many ways, the song that we sing in this service really represent what our family feel, especially on Joan’s upbringing.
In my opportunities, we often asked God, “What is Your plan, Lord?” Why can’t we have “standard” concerns like other parents on their child’s upbringing, a series of normal events? As humans we are not strong. As humans, our concerns and disappointment have crushed our hearts. What will happen to Joan when she become adult, Lord?
There are a lot of different things on Joan’s upbringing, including concerns and anxiousness that we have to go thru every day. Joan is 6 years old now, and she still depends on others to take care of her daily needs. In a short time, her younger cousins will start to go to school, and Joan will be alone again. Will her cousins except here as she is? Joan makes a lot more smile, became more talkative, but her seizures also getting more. Why Joan’s progress need to be followed by new sickness, Lord?
During our lowest times, we feel that we are more confused about God’s plan, and sometimes we even rebel. We can’t understand, can’t see and can’t fathom God’s plan.
When our hearts are week, God did not angry or abandon us. He even give us new hearts, He always uses unpredictable things. His Words, Joan’s smile, our family and friends who always care for Joan, our blessed jobs, and all other things that God did for us, that make us realized that we should not only get closer to Him, but also need to surrender totally to Him. We are not the one who hold God’s hands, because our human hands can get week and will let go. But we surrender ourselves to be carried by God, and God’s hands are strong and will not let go.
When we decided to surrender to Him, committed to have faith on the beautiful plan that God has prepared for us, we start to see things positively. “Joan has seizures, it also means that she is getting more active and smarter.” “Joan is not unable to do things, she just don’t want to do it because she is too spoiled.” Joan has gone thru 6 years of her life with her limitations, and she is able to live her life perfectly, and it all came from God, not because she can. Yes, all of these become a new strength for our hearts to break the limitation of our human heart and mind. When we surrender to God’s providence.
It’s been a long time since our family stop believing in “coincidence”. We already experienced too many amazing “coincidences”. We can’t even count how many coincidences that we have experienced in the last 6 years of Joan’s life, from getting the best therapists, getting the best baby-sitters, getting our dream house that we can use for Joan’s therapy and close-by a hospital where Joan’s doctor have a practice, and so much more, without our efforts. We don’t put a lot of efforts, that’s why we say “coincidence”. We believe that all of these are not coincidences. We have faith, willingly or unwillingly, we are experiencing God’s wonderful providence for Joan and our family. He always know what we need, and always provides, especially those that can help us take care of Joan better during her upbringing. He always give the best, even before we think about it. And most importantly, He always give joy to Joan, and of course to our family, even during our greatest fear or concern, He always give that joy to us.
Maybe Joan still can’t do many things, but her life bear witness for us, that is it not important what Joan can do, but what God has provided for Joan to enable her to go thru her 6 years of life.
Joan is different. She is not a child who need us as parents to raise her. Joan’s parent is the Lord Himself, who taught us thru Joan, about the meaning of living with God’s providence. Not with our strength, but with God’s strength, the perfect strength.
Yes, Lord, wonderful is Thy providence.
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